Democratic Convention Agenda

[Lucidvizion]

7:00 P.M. Opening flag burning.

7:15 P.M. Pledge of allegiance to the United Nations.

7:30 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

7:30 - 8:00 P.M. Non religious prayer and worship(mostly to selves) == Jessie Jackson & Al Sharpton.

8:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

8:05 P.M. Ceremonial tree hugging.

8:15 - 8:30 P.M. Gay Wedding -- Barney Frank Presiding.

8:30 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

8:35 P.M. Free Saddam Rally. Cindy Sheehan -- Susan Sarandon.

9:00 P.M. Keynote speaker: The proper etiquette for surrender – French President Jacques Chirac.

9:15 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

9:20 P.M. Collection to benefit Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund.

9:30 P.M. Unveiling of plan to free freedom fighters from Guantanamo Bay -- Sean Penn.

9:40 P.M. A short talk on why I hate the Military -- William Jefferson Clinton.

9:45 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

9:50 P.M. Dan Rather presented Truth in broadcasting award -- Michael Moore.

9:55 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

10:00 P.M. How George bush and Donald Rumsfeld brought down the World Trade Center Towers -- Howard Dean.

10:30 P.M. Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton -- Mahmud Ahmadinejad

11:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

11:05 P.M. Al Gore reinvents Internet.

11:15 P.M. Our Troops are War criminals -- John Kerry.

11:30 P.M. Coronation Of Mrs. Hillary Rodham Clinton.

12:00 A.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

12:05 A.M. Bill asks Ted to drive Hillary home.

12:10 A.M. Closing flag burning.

[JLB]

Wow they are really going for it this time.

[sukie]

Forgot the Millions will die healthcare scare.

[rob on the job]

At what point do the trot out the senile old folks in walkers and wheelchairs, wearing signs that say "George Bush Ate My Lunch"?

[JLB]

At what point do the trot out the senile old folks in walkers and wheelchairs, wearing signs that say "George Bush Ate My Lunch"?

Just before dinner everyday!!!

[shiva2999]

"Hey, get a load of (object of ridicule), aren't they stupid? Har har har!"

Never fails. Same formula everytime.

[rob on the job]

"Hey, get a load of (object of ridicule), aren't they stupid? Har har har!"

Never fails. Same formula everytime.

Just like the Left's fascination with Red-State jokes and Canada's fascination with America.

[rob on the job]

A baby seal goes into a bar and waddles onto a bar stool.
The bartender says, "What will you have?"
The baby seal says, "Anything but a Canadian Club!"

[rob on the job]

A Canadian is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm. His friend Doug stops him and asks, "Hey Bob! Whacha get the case of beer for?"

"I got it for my wife, eh." answers Bob.

"Oh!" exclaims Doug, "Good trade."

[rob on the job]

Q: What does a Canadian say when you step on his foot?

A:"Sorry"

[shiva2999]

Jesus.

Barbra Streisand's heckler was funnier than you.

[rob on the job]

...Barbra Streisand's heckler was funnier than you.

He swiped my material.

[shiva2999]

He swiped my material.

Don't quit your day job.

[dasaybz]

Canada sucks and I hate Canada. They is dumb not like us smart Americans. I hope Cananda blowed up on themselves. I know a Canadian and he hads shifty eyes. They are a society funded on lies because they call ham Canadian Bacon when they know it's just ham. Canada outlaws Howard Stern and took him off of the radio because they are scared of free thought. Canada has cheap prescription drugs to lure our elderly over the boarder . . . then they rape them. That last sentence is a true story, look it up in USA Today, it happens all the time. We can't trust Canada because they speak French and we can't understand that language. We all know how the Frenchies are pussies and Canadaians are the French peoples bithches, so that makes Canada a bigger bitch than a bitch. And why do they always say "eh" at the end of there sentences? I think it's because they is "eh-holes". I also hate how they look down on you for finishing high school early with a GED because you wanted to get a real job. The other funny thing is that most of the teams in the NHL are losing money and the league is probably going to fold up next year. HAHAHA those stupid Canadians love hockey so much: What does a canadian girl and a hockey goalie have in common? They both change their pads after three periods eh? Canadians are also famously cheap: What's the difference between a Canadian and a canoe? Canoes tip. I hate everyone in Canada so I hope the all get herpes from sleeping with their snow dogs on cold nights. Pamela Anderson said she got Hepatitis C because she deserved it for being Canadian (that's what the C stands for). I've never wroten anything that other people would read before and I just got on the internet for the first time this week. I'm proud that all the world will read this and have a better understanding of Canada. I had to speak out against the evil-doers in Canada. Go to hell Canada, go to hell!!!

[JLB]

He swiped my material.

That bastard!!! A little southpark for you.:arizona:

[uppy]

What do urine samples and Canadian beer have in common?
The taste.

[Dontdieman]

http://www.forumspile.com/Misc-This_may_get_Political.jpg

[JLB]

What do urine samples and Canadian beer have in common?
The taste.

This makes me think of another clever beer pee joke.

What's the difference between beer and pee?

About ten minutes!!!

[ckg68]

The material in this thread wouldn't pass muster on Last Comic Standing.

Let alone the worst sitcom out there.

[35Pete]

Wrong ckg. This thread is funny as hell.

Dems are easy to laugh at because they are stupid people. And stupid people make easy targets.

Hey Ted, hand me a scotch, would ya?

[JLB]

Wrong ckg. This thread is funny as hell.

Dems are easy to laugh at because they are stupid people. And stupid people make easy targets.

Hey Ted, hand me a scotch, would ya?

Now to be fair stupid is a relative term.

My relatives are not stupid ignorant sometimes.

The scotch does however sound very good!!

[ckg68]

Pete: Anyone can do stupid things.

Doesn't matter their political affiliation,gender,color,etc.

All it takes is the right circumstances,the right beverages.....et al....

[shiva2999]

Dems are easy to laugh at because they are stupid people. And stupid people make easy targets.

As I said...

"Hey, get a load of (object of ridicule), aren't they stupid? Har har har!"

Never fails. Same formula everytime.