How to Get to Heaven

[Smash]

Spell Check Alert!

There are two ways to get to heaven. First, and easiest (and is the way I suggest) is to become a Confirmed Catholic and receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation. We used to call it Confession, but know we got all fancy, but this is what you have to do. You have so say a proper confession to your local priest, and take communion the following Sunday. I recommend confession once a week just to make sure you don’t slip and fall with a big one on your soul. See, that’s the key, you have to get rid of the big sins on your soul before you die. (Maybe I’ll start a thread on sin soon.)

The Second way, is for Protestant’s, and it is much harder. You have to confess you sins directly to God, and you actually have to be truly sorry in your heart. If you were Catholic, you just have to say your sorry and the priest washes it away. But since your Protestant you have be truly sorry in your heart. I for one know that’s tough, I have a lot of big one’s I confessed that I’d do over, but since the Pope is a great man he has arranged it with God that all we have to do is say the words! Maybe this is a reason for you Protestants to come home to the Catholic Church?

Anyways, that it, the only two ways to get to heaven. Every other religion is stuck downstairs for all eternity. Its time to wake up and realize your choices, heaven awaits the faithful.

[TRIPLE P]

Nice.

[Ru]

Religious people suck.

[Smash]

Nice.

Thanks WXP, maybe one day you'll return to the life of the faithful?

[TRIPLE P]

If you were Catholic, you just have to say your sorry and the priest washes it away. But since your Protestant you have be truly sorry in your heart. I for one know that’s tough, I have a lot of big one’s I confessed that I’d do over, but since the Pope is a great man he has arranged it with God that all we have to do is say the words! Maybe this is a reason for you Protestants to come home to the Catholic Church?

.


Particularly eye opening...thanks for showing me "the way"

[mark3274]

Spell Check Alert!

There are two ways to get to heaven. First, and easiest (and is the way I suggest) is to become a Confirmed Catholic and receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation. We used to call it Confession, but know we got all fancy, but this is what you have to do. You have so say a proper confession to your local priest, and take communion the following Sunday. I recommend confession once a week just to make sure you don’t slip and fall with a big one on your soul. See, that’s the key, you have to get rid of the big sins on your soul before you die. (Maybe I’ll start a thread on sin soon.)

The Second way, is for Protestant’s, and it is much harder. You have to confess you sins directly to God, and you actually have to be truly sorry in your heart. If you were Catholic, you just have to say your sorry and the priest washes it away. But since your Protestant you have be truly sorry in your heart. I for one know that’s tough, I have a lot of big one’s I confessed that I’d do over, but since the Pope is a great man he has arranged it with God that all we have to do is say the words! Maybe this is a reason for you Protestants to come home to the Catholic Church?

Anyways, that it, the only two ways to get to heaven. Every other religion is stuck downstairs for all eternity. Its time to wake up and realize your choices, heaven awaits the faithful.

Come home to the catholic church? LMAO

I suggest you find yourself a copy of the book a woman rides the beast by dave hunt..... If it offends you to bad

I will stay at a Calvary Chapel long before I " return to the catholic church " please... and I thought NWF made some dumb posts.
go talk to a southern baptist pastor I bet he might violently disagree with your presumptions.
so the priest is gonna sprinkle water on ya and to heaven ya go OK if you say so................... but thats not in the bible nowhere not once.

[Ru]

Do the alter boys who "take one for the Lord" get a free pass into the pearly gates?

[Meathead]

you people are crazy to argue with a figment of somebodys imagination

[micknaboz]

I think it might have been in Psychology Today, that a very large percentage of Marines had repressed, latent homosexual feelings. It was something like three times the national average.

[TMR2006]

Spell Check Alert!

There are two ways to get to heaven. First, and easiest (and is the way I suggest) is to become a Confirmed Catholic and receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation. We used to call it Confession, but know we got all fancy, but this is what you have to do. You have so say a proper confession to your local priest, and take communion the following Sunday. I recommend confession once a week just to make sure you don’t slip and fall with a big one on your soul. See, that’s the key, you have to get rid of the big sins on your soul before you die. (Maybe I’ll start a thread on sin soon.)

The Second way, is for Protestant’s, and it is much harder. You have to confess you sins directly to God, and you actually have to be truly sorry in your heart. If you were Catholic, you just have to say your sorry and the priest washes it away. But since your Protestant you have be truly sorry in your heart. I for one know that’s tough, I have a lot of big one’s I confessed that I’d do over, but since the Pope is a great man he has arranged it with God that all we have to do is say the words! Maybe this is a reason for you Protestants to come home to the Catholic Church?

Anyways, that it, the only two ways to get to heaven. Every other religion is stuck downstairs for all eternity. Its time to wake up and realize your choices, heaven awaits the faithful.

I must say I enjoy your posts much more with correct spelling, it is very much appreciated.
One curious point though.


Roman Catholics 1,118,991,000
Protestants 375,815,000
Orthodox 219,501,000
Independents* 425,170,000
Anglicans 79,718,000
Muslims 1,308,941,000
Hindus 860,133,000
Chinese Universists 404,921,000
Buddhists 378,808,000
Sikhs 25,377,700
Jews 15,073,000

Are you really saying almost 4 billion people are going to hell ?

[bigr]

:nono:

This kind of closemindedness plagues America.

As a Hindu, I guess I'm not going to Heaven. In fact, Smash you called "Hare Krishna's" not the "brightest of the bunch"

I guess our "made-up" stories are so much "Dumber" and more "fictional" then yours.

enjoy your god-fearing life, I'm allright just trying to be good person.

[gilchristfan]

Spell Check Alert!

There are two ways to get to heaven. First, and easiest (and is the way I suggest) is to become a Confirmed Catholic and receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation. We used to call it Confession, but know we got all fancy, but this is what you have to do. You have so say a proper confession to your local priest, and take communion the following Sunday. I recommend confession once a week just to make sure you don’t slip and fall with a big one on your soul. See, that’s the key, you have to get rid of the big sins on your soul before you die. (Maybe I’ll start a thread on sin soon.)

The Second way, is for Protestant’s, and it is much harder. You have to confess you sins directly to God, and you actually have to be truly sorry in your heart. If you were Catholic, you just have to say your sorry and the priest washes it away. But since your Protestant you have be truly sorry in your heart. I for one know that’s tough, I have a lot of big one’s I confessed that I’d do over, but since the Pope is a great man he has arranged it with God that all we have to do is say the words! Maybe this is a reason for you Protestants to come home to the Catholic Church?

Anyways, that it, the only two ways to get to heaven. Every other religion is stuck downstairs for all eternity. Its time to wake up and realize your choices, heaven awaits the faithful.


Jesus wept.

Jhn 11:35

[sukie]

I need a beer for this thread... Yikes.

[JLB]

I need a beer for this thread... Yikes.

Got an extra one!!!

[sukie]

I just genuflected infront of my beer vending machine and recited the act of contrition. Amazing how those prayers are embedded in my brain

[JLB]

I just genuflected infront of my beer vending machine and recited the act of contrition. Amazing how those prayers are embedded in my brain

Really even after the beer. lol

[sukie]

I have the mass memorized. Scary. I could use that portion of my memory banks for something more useful.

[micknaboz]

I have the mass memorized. Scary. I could use that portion of my memory banks for something more useful.

Yeah but is it in Latin???

[sukie]

No... heavy old person Polish accent... very Bela Lagosi-esque. Father Kotkieweicz.

[deconstruction]

Spell Check Alert!

There are two ways to get to heaven. First, and easiest (and is the way I suggest) is to become a Confirmed Catholic and receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation. We used to call it Confession, but know we got all fancy, but this is what you have to do. You have so say a proper confession to your local priest, and take communion the following Sunday. I recommend confession once a week just to make sure you don’t slip and fall with a big one on your soul. See, that’s the key, you have to get rid of the big sins on your soul before you die. (Maybe I’ll start a thread on sin soon.)

The Second way, is for Protestant’s, and it is much harder. You have to confess you sins directly to God, and you actually have to be truly sorry in your heart. If you were Catholic, you just have to say your sorry and the priest washes it away. But since your Protestant you have be truly sorry in your heart. I for one know that’s tough, I have a lot of big one’s I confessed that I’d do over, but since the Pope is a great man he has arranged it with God that all we have to do is say the words! Maybe this is a reason for you Protestants to come home to the Catholic Church?

Anyways, that it, the only two ways to get to heaven. Every other religion is stuck downstairs for all eternity. Its time to wake up and realize your choices, heaven awaits the faithful.


If this sort of shit is going on in heaven, I'd rather be in hell. Not that either of them exist in the first place. The very notion that the nature of one's eternal existence (say 100000000000000000000000000 years or so) be governed by actions undertaken during th short span of one's life is, beyond absurd.

Unless, of course, there is lots of :FBH: in heaven.

[shiva2999]

you people are crazy to argue with a figment of somebodys imagination

I still can't decide.

You'd think that if the character was a construction the content would be more interesting, but it's kinda pedestrian so far. But it is, like JP Losman, improving, so maybe our actor just wanted to start slow so not to blow it all at once.

Or, he could be real, which is both funny and terrifying.

[coastal]

Superfli?

[shiva2999]

Supbro/Ron Burgundy?

[Smash]

I still can't decide.

You'd think that if the character was a construction the content would be more interesting, but it's kinda pedestrian so far. But it is, like JP Losman, improving, so maybe our actor just wanted to start slow so not to blow it all at once.

Or, he could be real, which is both funny and terrifying.

That's a tremendous compliment, comparing me to JP Losman http://buffalorange.com/showthread.php?t=98316

ANd its good to know I scare you, quake in your boots buddy.