"The Hebrew Hammer"

[SpikedLemonade]

Have you seen this 2002 movie staring Adam Goldberg and Judy Greer?

It's hilarious!!!

I was just flicking around the movie channels and its on.

It's about a Jewish-Orthodox private eye who goes on a mission to save Hanukkah after a mysterious stranger manages to persuade Jewish children to abandon their faith.

Rated R.

Check it out.

[Gibby]

I thought you might enjoy an early look at your Hannakuh present. Read it now and see what the current best seller in Syria, Iran, Saudi Arabia and the rest of the middle east. Enjoy. :D

http://ddickerson.igc.org/The_Protocols_of_the_Learned_Elders_of_Zion.pdf

[SpikedLemonade]

I thought you might enjoy an early look at your Hannakuh present. Read it now and see what the current best seller in Syria, Iran, Saudi Arabia and the rest of the middle east. Enjoy. :D

http://ddickerson.igc.org/The_Protocols_of_the_Learned_Elders_of_Zion.pdf

Since you mentioned it the other day I already read it.

It's a good read.

[Gibby]

Since you mentioned it the other day I already read it.

It's a good read.

Yep a great piece of fiction. Kinda like Pinky and the Brain. BTW here is a brief history of it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Protocols_of_the_Elders_of_Zion

[SpikedLemonade]

Here's the website -- http://www.thehebrewhammer.com/

Listen to the theme song.

"...who's the circumcised dick..."

Ha Ha Ha :guy: :guy: :guy: :guy:

[Gibby]

Here is your Passover present.

http://www.calvin.edu/academic/cas/gpa/thumb.htm

[sukie]

Is there any ass in the movie because
i am obviously transfixed.

[SpikedLemonade]

Is there any ass in the movie because
i am obviously transfixed.

Well YES there is Sukie...


The Story "The Hebrew Hammer," is an action-comedy written and directed by 28-year-old Jonathan Kesselman. The film stars Adam Goldberg in the title role, with Judy Greer, Andy Dick, Mario Van Peebles, Peter Coyote and Nora Dunn starring in supporting roles.

By creating "The Hebrew Hammer," Kesselman has brought to life a character rarely seen in Hollywood or off-Hollywood films: a sexy and powerful Jewish action hero.

Just as such indelible films as Melvin Van Peebles' "Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song" and Gordon Parks' "Shaft" were reactions to Hollywood's inability or unwillingness to portray strong, sexy Black characters in the early 70s, Kesselman's "Hammer" is his way of creating a new hero for a new generation.

Like any exploitation film, "The Hebrew Hammer" pitches stereotypes like flaming fastballs at a knowing audience. But it would be wrong to say that Kesselman, by creating a "Shaft" with peyos, is satirizing the Blaxploitation genre. Instead, Kesselman is honoring the genre, proud that he, too has made a picture with a built-in audience in mind.

Written and directed by Jonathan Kesselman, "The Hebrew Hammer" was shot on 33 New York City locations in 22 days in the spring of 2002. Kesselman's brother, Josh Kesselman of Jericho Entertainment, produced the film with R&BFM's Lisa Fragner and ContentFilm's Sofia Sondervan. ContentFilm's Edward R. Pressman and John Schmidt are executive producers.

http://www.thehebrewhammer.com/about.asp

[Gibby]

To be honest spiked I'd actually like to see this film.

[sukie]

I obviously need ass closeups.

[SpikedLemonade]

There is a game called Gentile Invaders where you get Matzo Balls rather than points... http://www.thehebrewhammer.com/fun.asp


There is also a test called Jewish Confirmation Test...http://www.thehebrewhammer.com/quiz.asp?ct=5


When you stub your toe on the table leg, what do you yell out?
Ouch! Oy!
Muthah****a! Ay Caramba!

On your way to catch a bus, you come across a penny lying on the sidewalk. Do you:
Continue on your way, because hey, it's just 1/100th of a dollar Knowingly kick the penny into the gutter so no one else will trip on it
Pick up the penny and miss the bus because, after all, it is 1/100th of a dollar

Which of the following instruments best suit you (check all that apply):
Electric Guitar The Spoons
Violin Banjo
Clarinet Piano
Electric Bass Acoustic Guitar
Ukulele MIDI
Harp Jew's Harp
Drums Recorder

Gym class has started, and you really couldn't be bothered exercising or even changing into your gym clothes. Which is the best excuse to give the gym teacher?
"My doctor says that exercise affects my arrhythmia." "My Tay-Sachs is acting up."
"The Supreme Court specified in Herschel V. Smith that if I don't want to participate, I don't have to!" "I'm allergic to exercise."
All of the above

What is a Latke?
A fictional character found in syndication on the television program "Taxi?" A delicious snack made out of potatoes, often served with sour cream or apple sauce?
A province in Israel? The first dog in outer space, sent up in a rocket by the Russians?

Your shower head is dripping. You:
Break out the toolbox and fix it Do nothing for a few weeks as the worry and dread over the faucet finally prompts you to call a plumber
Use the shower in one of the guest bathrooms None of the above

[SpikedLemonade]

Hard Hittin' Heeb
A Semitic Super Star, you wear your big, black Gentile stomping boots with pride. You slug Manischewitz straight from the bottle, and wouldn't mix a hamburger with a Milkshake even if your life depended on it. The only time you remove your yarmulke is when you're hittin' the showers (which isn't that often). You're a 100% Kosher in every sense of the word. Shabat Shalom, Motherfu@^&rs!!!

http://www.thehebrewhammer.com/quiz.asp?rsl=1&ct=5&scr=hhh&rd#hhh


Hey, I'm one of the Jewish Brothers.

Better schedule the circumcision right now.

[Gibby]

Hey Spiked, Yom Kippur is coming up. Here are some more gifts that I thought you would enjoy.

http://www.calvin.edu/academic/cas/gpa/sturmer.htm

Here is a note about your new subscription
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Der_St%C3%BCrmer

Here is some info on the editor in chief.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Julius_Streicher

[SpikedLemonade]

I didn't relaize that High Holiday was one where gifts are excahnged.

What is the holiday where you atone?

[Gibby]

I didn't relaize that High Holiday was one where gifts are excahnged.

What is the holiday where you atone?

that would be Yom Kippur, but hey its America and commercializing holidays is an American tradition.

[35Pete]

WTF is your obsession with jews???? I mean every third thread it seems you are starting a thread on the yentas.

Is it just me?

[Gibby]

WTF is your obsession with jews???? I mean every third thread it seems you are starting a thread on the yentas.

Is it just me?

who me, I'm just trying to correct a wayward poster.

[35Pete]

who me, I'm just trying to correct a wayward poster.

Not you.

[Gibby]

Not you.

just checking.

[nehemiah]

hebrew hammer was a pretty funny movie. shabat shalom, mother-****ers! :D

i've also seen the egyptian miniseries of the protocols of the elders of zion. not really worth a rental. you should download that one.

[г]

Fightin' crime in the 'chood...

[Gibby]

hebrew hammer was a pretty funny movie. shabat shalom, mother-****ers! :D

i've also seen the egyptian miniseries of the protocols of the elders of zion. not really worth a rental. you should download that one.

If you like that one, may I suggest Jude Suess (the Nazi version) as well as Streicher's Der Stuermer and his children's book The Poison Mushrooms. Hmmm, I wonder if Hezbollah has a children's press? Would it be hq'd in Canada? :D

[nehemiah]

i've seen "der ewige jude". and "olympiad". and the nuremberg one - with the hitler speech at the center of the flick.

i'm up on my nazi propaganda.

[nehemiah]

http://www.holocaust-history.org/der-ewige-jude/stills.shtml

[nehemiah]

btw, if you want to see a truly amazing anti-nazi film... check out "testament of dr. mabuse" directed by fritz lang.

“When humanity, subjugated by the terror of crime, has been driven insane by fear and horror, and when chaos has become supreme law, then the time will have come for the empire of crime.”
http://www.criterionco.com/asp/release.asp?id=231&eid=350&section=essay

[Gibby]

btw, if you want to see a truly amazing anti-nazi film... check out "testament of dr. mabuse" directed by fritz lang.

“When humanity, subjugated by the terror of crime, has been driven insane by fear and horror, and when chaos has become supreme law, then the time will have come for the empire of crime.”
http://www.criterionco.com/asp/release.asp?id=231&eid=350&section=essay

Fritz Lang was the best director of his day and one of the most important directors in cinematic history along with (and not for the content of their films, but simply the impact and significance of their films in politics and cinematic evolution) Griffin, Capra, and Eisenstein.

[nehemiah]

Fritz Lang was the best director of his day and one of the most important directors in cinematic history along with (and not for the content of their films, but simply the impact and significance of their films in politics and cinematic evolution) Griffin, Capra, and Eisenstein.well, i don't know about all that.

but doctor mabuse is a great anti-nazi flick. and "M" is one of my top 10 favorite movies.

[rob on the job]

This thread is seriously bent.

[nehemiah]

triumph of the will.

that's the nuremberg one.

[SpikedLemonade]

This thread is seriously bent.

It started off silly and funny until some person had to use the word NAZI.

[Gibby]

triumph of the will.

that's the nuremberg one.

very good, you're learning boy. :D

[nehemiah]

more evidence of the pussification of america.

you're afraid to watch nazi propaganda b/c you know you're too weak to not become a nazi.

wimps.

[rob on the job]

more evidence of the pussification of america.

you're afraid to watch nazi propaganda b/c you know you're too weak to not become a nazi.

wimps.

Playground taunts?

[nehemiah]

Playground taunts?3:00 on the playground, roberto.

your ass is grass, dude.





:D

[nehemiah]

seriously - what is the bigwhoop about nazi propaganda movies? :dunno: :bigwhoop:

and secondly, how does watching the hebrew hammer make you a nazi?

[pmoon6]

more evidence of the pussification of america.

you're afraid to watch nazi propaganda b/c you know you're too weak to not become a nazi.

wimps.Ever been to a meeting of the Aryan Brotherhood? They are some wacked out dudes. Probably wouldn't be a good idea for you to go, if they find out you're a liberal, they stick a rod up your ass and roast you over the fire.

[nehemiah]

Ever been to a meeting of the Aryan Brotherhood? They are some wacked out dudes. Probably wouldn't be a good idea for you to go, if they find out you're a liberal, they stick a rod up your ass and roast you over the fire.i fail to see what this has to do with anything. my point is that watching nazi propaganda doesn't make you a nazi.

btw, i've been to a number of their marches. i've also saw a crew of anarchists beat the hell out of a group of them until one neo-nazi pulled a gun. then everyone scattered.

when i worked for ZOG, there was a dude who would go to the rallies out in the woods to spy on them. he was loaded for bear when doing so, though.

[rob on the job]

... btw, i've been to a number of their marches. i've also saw a crew of anarchists beat the hell out of a group of them until one neo-nazi pulled a gun. then everyone scattered.

when i worked for ZOG, there was a dude who would go to the rallies out in the woods to spy on them. he was loaded for bear when doing so, though.

http://www.thenazihunter.com/nh_media/yz_index.jpg

[nehemiah]

neo-nazis treat their dogs really well.

[pmoon6]

i fail to see what this has to do with anything. my point is that watching nazi propaganda doesn't make you a nazi.

btw, i've been to a number of their marches. i've also saw a crew of anarchists beat the hell out of a group of them until one neo-nazi pulled a gun. then everyone scattered.

when i worked for ZOG, there was a dude who would go to the rallies out in the woods to spy on them. he was loaded for bear when doing so, though.You keep calling Americans wimps and pussies and try to illustrate it by saying they are afraid to watch nazi propaganda. I've seen their propaganda up close and personal. They are a scary bunch, but they do have some good workshops on survival tactics and top notch BBQ.

You are correct though, just because you've been to some meetings, it doesn't make you a nazi. I guess that excludes me from the wimp and pussy catagory.

[pmoon6]

That's another thing that makes me laugh. People call some Republicans "the radical right" and "wingnuts". They are boy scouts compared to the real radicals.

[nehemiah]

You keep calling Americans wimps and pussies and try to illustrate it by saying they are afraid to watch nazi propaganda. I've seen their propaganda up close and personal. They are a scary bunch, but they do have some good workshops on survival tactics and top notch BBQ.

You are correct though, just because you've been to some meetings, it doesn't make you a nazi. I guess that excludes me from the wimp and pussy catagory.you got a big neo-nazi group out there?

or are they survivalists?

or a little bit of both?

[pmoon6]

you got a big neo-nazi group out there?

or are they survivalists?

or a little bit of both?This was when I lived in Texas. They used to have these big shindigs up in the woods in East Texas. They had different groups there, some survivalists, some Aryan brotherhood, some KKK. I went with a couple of redneck friends that I hunted with, just to see what it was like. Everything you read about them is true. I just kept my mouth shut and took it all in, like I said, scary people.

[nehemiah]

This was when I lived in Texas. They used to have these big shindigs up in the woods in East Texas. They had different groups there, some survivalists, some Aryan brotherhood, some KKK. I went with a couple of redneck friends that I hunted with, just to see what it was like. Everything you read about them is true. I just kept my mouth shut and took it all in, like I said, scary people.considering that aryan brotherhood is a prison gang - scary would be a good description.

most of the neo-nazis are not so tough, though. just play-acting until they get old enough to have to get a job.

same with the survivalists - some are really dangerous... most are just looking for something to do on the weekend.

[SpikedLemonade]

"Nazis, KKK, etc."

You're ruining the spirit of my thread with that kind of talk.

[Gibby]

"Nazis, KKK, etc."

You're ruining the spirit of my thread with that kind of talk.

Hmmm, Herr Streicher what would the spirit of your thread be? :D

[SpikedLemonade]

Hmmm, Herr Streicher what would the spirit of your thread be? :D

Oh come on.:eatme:

It's a movie written by Jews, directed by Jews, starring Jews that pokes fun at their own Jewish stereotypes.

Why the hostility or name calling?:phaser:

[Gibby]

Oh come on.:eatme:

It's a movie written by Jews, directed by Jews, starring Jews that pokes fun at their own Jewish stereotypes.

Why the hostility or name calling?:phaser:

Spiked, learn to to smile a bit. Can't you see that I was just messing with you.

[SpikedLemonade]

Spiked, learn to to smile a bit. Can't you see that I was just messing with you.

I'm sorry.

I'm a little bit sensitive to being called a NAZI after the last time it happened and I was banned.

I understand you in particular are joking, but then you have posters like Dondie who reads (or has it read to him) what you call me and he believes it. He whines to the mods and bang...I'm on the outside looking in again.

Fair enough?:bigasskiss:

[Gibby]

I'm sorry.

I'm a little bit sensitive to being called a NAZI after the last time it happened and I was banned.

I understand you in particular are joking, but then you have posters like Dondie who reads (or has it read to him) what you call me and he believes it. He whines to the mods and bang...I'm on the outside looking in again.

Fair enough?:bigasskiss:

While I disagree with your position on Israel as it could be construed to anti-Semitism (no, don't start I understand that you respect Jews, but hate Israel and thats okay with me) I do NOT see you as a NAZI. I think that if Israel was not being so heavily bankrolled by the overintrusive American military industrial complex that you would possibly even vouch for their right to exist.

[SpikedLemonade]

While I disagree with your position on Israel as it could be construed to anti-Semitism (no, don't start I understand that you respect Jews, but hate Israel and thats okay with me) I do NOT see you as a NAZI. I think that if Israel was not being so heavily bankrolled by the overintrusive American military industrial complex that you would possibly even vouch for their right to exist.

Thank you.

YES, I do NOT agree with their right to exist -- THE AMERICAN MILITARY INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX SHOULD NOT EXIST.

[Gibby]

Thank you.

YES, I do NOT agree with their right to exist -- THE AMERICAN MILITARY INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX SHOULD NOT EXIST.

Yes Ike, if Neh is robespierre then you are Ike. Good post Ike. :D

[SpikedLemonade]

you are Ike. Good post Ike. :D

I LIKE IKE


Hey, there is a catchy phrase, I wonder if it will catch on?

[Gibby]

I LIKE IKE


Hey, there is a catchy phrase, I wonder if it will catch on?

It took the USA by storm in the 1950s. Ah the collective brain rot of that decade will never be matched.

[SpikedLemonade]

It took the USA by storm in the 1950s. Ah the collective brain rot of that decade will never be matched.

Crap!

I'm way behind of my time.:guy:

[ckg68]

Well,there will be a sequel to The Hebrew Hammer...and Mel Gibson's infamous tirade is going to be spoofed in the movie.

http://www.tmz.com/2006/08/30/gibson-nailed-in-hebrew-hammer-sequel/

Geez,Mel isn't having a good few weeks,is he? Made a laughingstock...a punch line...Denis Leary's kicked his ass(head to The Asylum and the thread "Rescuing a game..." for a funny video)...and now this. He might want to lay low for a long time.

[Gibby]

Well,there will be a sequel to The Hebrew Hammer...and Mel Gibson's infamous tirade is going to be spoofed in the movie.

http://www.tmz.com/2006/08/30/gibson-nailed-in-hebrew-hammer-sequel/

Geez,Mel isn't having a good few weeks,is he? Made a laughingstock...a punch line...Denis Leary's kicked his ass(head to The Asylum and the thread "Rescuing a game..." for a funny video)...and now this. He might want to lay low for a long time.

can't wait to see either one.

[K-Gun]

That's another thing that makes me laugh. People call some Republicans "the radical right" and "wingnuts". They are boy scouts compared to the real radicals.

The "real radicals" shoot machine guns in the woods. The Republicans have their fingers on ICBM buttons and the most lethal killing machine the world has ever seen.

[35Pete]

The "real radicals" shoot machine guns in the woods. The Republicans have their fingers on ICBM buttons and the most lethal killing machine the world has ever seen.

Stick your head in the sand and the world's threats will just go away. Typical democratic position.

I'd love to downsize. Fact is that I think the military is TOO SMALL at this point in history. We need to have the ability to fight a two front war again. And now we can't.

Sooner or later a terrorist is going to set off a WMD in the states. I'm a fatalist and just don't think we can prevent it. And that technology will be supplied from someone. I suspect Iran. Whatever nation does that will disappear from the Earth. They will perish. They will become a rumor in world history. That is what will happen.

Now. I beleive this is inevitable. How do you want that to happen? With conventional forces or mushroom clouds? Because if the troops are not available then the big firecrackers will be.

America will not tolerate 50,000 dead in Manhatten in a blink of an eye.

[pmoon6]

The "real radicals" shoot machine guns in the woods. The Republicans have their fingers on ICBM buttons and the most lethal killing machine the world has ever seen.HaHaHa, I meant their ideology. Those guys would kill every Jew, Black and every other minority if the could. Most Republicans wouldn't even think of it and they probably won't be in power much longer, so then it will be the Democrats with their finger on the button.

If you think the Republican party is the same or worse than the neo-nazi's, there's not much hope for you.

[SpikedLemonade]

Well,there will be a sequel to The Hebrew Hammer...and Mel Gibson's infamous tirade is going to be spoofed in the movie.

http://www.tmz.com/2006/08/30/gibson-nailed-in-hebrew-hammer-sequel/

Geez,Mel isn't having a good few weeks,is he? Made a laughingstock...a punch line...Denis Leary's kicked his ass(head to The Asylum and the thread "Rescuing a game..." for a funny video)...and now this. He might want to lay low for a long time.

E-X-C-E-L-L-E-N-T!!!

[nehemiah]

HaHaHa, I meant their ideology. Those guys would kill every Jew, Black and every other minority if the could. Most Republicans wouldn't even think of it and they probably won't be in power much longer, so then it will be the Democrats with their finger on the button.

If you think the Republican party is the same or worse than the neo-nazi's, there's not much hope for you.good point.

however, the radical republicans would kill every muslim on the face of the earth... which is not too shabby a lunacy.

[uppy]

Just the terrorists king not every muslim.

[35Pete]

good point.

however, the radical republicans would kill every muslim on the face of the earth... which is not too shabby a lunacy.

That is an incredibly unfair, dirty, and stupid statement.

[nehemiah]

That is an incredibly unfair, dirty, and stupid statement.and yet it's true.

FACT.

[SpikedLemonade]

OR are you two faking it to build up interest?

[SpikedLemonade]

F'n hilarious!!!!