How to cure the Un-American nature of soccer

[K-Gun]

Soccer is Un-American for at least two reasons that I can think of. First, because of the diving- No red blooded American likes to see pansy Europeans fall to the ground in fake agony after being subjected to a sneeze. You might as well ask American sports fans to watch opera. Do away with the pansy factor and we’re half way there.

Second, the off sides rule. This, far and away, is the single greatest Un-American aspect of any sport. Come on, we’re the inventors of the forward pass for Christ sake. But, of course, the Europeans are stuck on “their” tradition as well, so I propose a compromise. Institute two additional lines on the field which carve it into thirds. In the attacking end, abolish offsides for any touch past the Third Line. I’ve taken the liberty to draw up my version of a future Americanized soccer field.

[HURLS]

You might as well ask American sports fans to watch opera.


Or hockey. :D

Nice drawing BTW.

[Victor7]

Offsides is a basic and necesay rule in soccer. It basically prevents from having a player just "chasing" goals and doing nothing more. If this rule were left out you would have to always leave a defender right next to the opposing team striker. .......... It'd be too easy to score, just leave a man all the way to the top, basically next to the goalie and feed him long balls. Midfielders would basically become obsolete

[K-Gun]

Offsides is a basic and necesay rule in soccer. It basically prevents from having a player just "chasing" goals and doing nothing more. If this rule were left out you would have to always leave a defender right next to the opposing team striker. .......... It'd be too easy to score, just leave a man all the way to the top, basically next to the goalie and feed him long balls. Midfielders would basically become obsolete

What if the ball had to be in the offensive third before offsides was off?

You wouldn't be able to goal hang because you'd be offside on a ball played from outside the offensive third.

I mean think about it, how many plays are whistled down when the striker is jsut about even with the defender? It seems crazy to me to penalize teams for making great runs a 1/10th of a second too soon.

[nehemiah]

offsides is fine.

they should go back to the old interpretation. stop giving the officials so much leeway in the interpretation. dude is either off, or he's not.

your first point is good, though. anyone who dives get kicked in the nuts by 4 randomly chosen fans of the opposite side. then americans would rock on.

[bigr]

The whole faking injuries isn't COMPLETELY lacking in America.

Flops in Basketball?

Most sports depend on selling fouls, Soccer just has fake agony faces.

I don't think Soccer will be as popular as other sports until it becomes more blue collar of a sport. Everywhere in the world, the poorest kids of the poorest countries play football, and I think that love is what developed the love of soccer in their country.

I hope this country develops love for Soccer, the World Cup is real exciting, it just takes the bandwagon effect I think.

[K-Gun]

offsides is fine.

they should go back to the old interpretation. stop giving the officials so much leeway in the interpretation. dude is either off, or he's not.

your first point is good, though. anyone who dives get kicked in the nuts by 4 randomly chosen fans of the opposite side. then americans would rock on.

Come on, the average score would go from 1-0 to 4-3.

[Mouldsie]

yea offsides is gay..... but not as gay as diving... and i hate gay in my sports


when i see an offsides call im like "that's gay!" then i change the channel

[markythebill]

Americans will never fully embrace 'soccer', just like Europeans will never embrace American football. Americans look at soccer and think it's gay, just like rugby fans from NZ, Australia, Britain, and everywhere else that play it look at American football and think the players are gay for wearing helmets and padding. Even soccer fans think the padding is gay, despite it still being far more rough despite the padding. I get laughed at regularly when I say I love the NFL and have watched it since childhood. It's just the nature of things. And American soccer fans probably get laughed at as well. But as long as you're passionate about a sport who cares? I mean I think Basketball and Baseball are two of the most boring sports in history, along with golf and cricket, but they have plenty of fans so there must be something in them.

Oh yeah, and Australians who watch Aussie Rules Football look at American football AND rugby and think they're BOTH gay, because in their sport you can kick each other in the face.

[nehemiah]

Come on, the average score would go from 1-0 to 4-3.but then you lose the supa-kewl midfield passing.

as far as i'm concerned - **** anyone who doesn't like soccer. go watch something else and shut the **** up.

[:::]

[Mouldsie]

im gonna invent hardcore soccer where you can pick the ball up and run with it and you can tackle each other..... hmmmmmm

[BanditsRock11]

So making another line would be just like making another midfeild line. Since you can't be offsides on your half of the feild its just like extedint the half line, there would be no point to have it. You could just leave the circle for kickoffs and eliminite the lines in the middle.

Read me? That would change your drawing a bit. Plus it would eliminate the amount of lines on there a little bit, if you were going to at the other two.

[K-Gun]

but then you lose the supa-kewl midfield passing.

Not at all, it wouldn't change midfield play at all. It would only effect play in the attacking third. The game would be WAY more improved than even the elimination of the red line on two line passes.

[nehemiah]

Not at all, it wouldn't change midfield play at all. It would only effect play in the attacking third. The game would be WAY more improved than even the elimination of the red line on two line passes.let me be more precise - it would eliminate the supa-kewl passes from the supa-kewl midfielders in that third of the field. it would be a cherry-picking situation where people like peter crouch would be more influential and people like ronaldinho, zidane, figo, and riquelme would be less influential. who you wanna watch? peter crouch or zizou? it's gotta be zizou - every single time.

IMO, your idea would raise the score at the expense of the fluidity of play. it's the fluidity that makes soccer brilliant to watch... the build-up is more fun to see than the actual goal.

[Victor7]

let me be more precise - it would eliminate the supa-kewl passes from the supa-kewl midfielders in that third of the field. it would be a cherry-picking situation where people like peter crouch would be more influential and people like ronaldinho, zidane, figo, and riquelme would be less influential. who you wanna watch? peter crouch or zizou? it's gotta be zizou - every single time.

IMO, your idea would raise the score at the expense of the fluidity of play. it's the fluidity that makes soccer brilliant to watch... the build-up is more fun to see than the actual goal.

Excellent post !! ..... that pretty much sums up my opinion on your idea JKiG. Your idea is well thought but I think it compromises a lot of the quality play for more goals. ......... As for the diving issue, EVERY team dives to fake fouls. Its part of the game. The difference comes whether you're diving to look for a penalty or to dramatize a foul in order to lose more time.
The offensive fouls in the NBA are some of the biggest and most exaggerated dives you'll see. Dont give me the whole americans dont like it because of the diving argument

[K-Gun]

let me be more precise - it would eliminate the supa-kewl passes from the supa-kewl midfielders in that third of the field.

You are CRAZY!!! This rule change would make midfield passes the key to sucess. It would magnify passes and crosses to SUPA-KEWL status becasue they would be finished so much more often.

[Victor7]

supa - kewl <--- :guy:

I dont know why but it makes me laugh too much

[markythebill]

who you wanna watch? peter crouch or zizou? it's gotta be zizou - every single time.



I'm English and even I'd rather watch Zizou than Crouch (even if he is a bald-headed, arrogant French armpit licker)

[nehemiah]

I'm English and even I'd rather watch Zizou than Crouch (even if he is a bald-headed, arrogant French armpit licker)don't forget "best player of the past 10 years".

[K-Gun]

I'm English and even I'd rather watch Zizou than Crouch (even if he is a bald-headed, arrogant French armpit licker)

Apparently Crouch would be passing to himself if the offsides rule were changed...

[nehemiah]

Apparently Crouch would be passing to himself if the offsides rule were changed...har de har har har...

:stfu:

:D

[K-Gun]

har de har har har...

:stfu:

:D

Take your mind out of the gutter and stop protesting like those who opposed the introduction of the forward pass. I'm a genius, and after I change the world, one day you'll be able to look back and say "wow, I was that old fart who was against the greatest rule change in sports history." I'm just looking out.

[nehemiah]

:rofl:

soccer is just fine as it is. **** the people who don't like it.

:upyours2: to everyone who doesn't like it. dammit.

[K-Gun]

:rofl:

soccer is just fine as it is. **** the people who don't like it.

:upyours2: to everyone who doesn't like it. dammit.

Think out side the box man, I'm talking about changing the world and all you can do is hang onto your long standing dogma and superstition.

[markythebill]

don't forget "best player of the past 10 years".


Oh yes, he was a fine player in his day, but he's French so I am bound by English law to dislike him. Not as much as the Scottish, but still quite a bit.

[nehemiah]

Oh yes, he was a fine player in his day, but he's French so I am bound by English law to dislike him. Not as much as the Scottish, but still quite a bit.here's one for ya....

GERD MULLER

good luck tomorrow, you english jive-turkies! :D

[markythebill]

good luck tomorrow, you english jive-turkies! :D


Hey, I know you secretly want us to win and will be cheering us on ;)



Did you see Germany/Argentina yesterday? If the Germans go to penalties you can pretty much bet the house on them winning. It was so funny to see the Argies being sore losers at the end and trying to beat up the German team. It was strange because I was actually cheering on the Germans to win, never thought that would happen!

If we go to penalties today with Portugal, you can also pretty much bet the house that we'll lose.

[nehemiah]

If we go to penalties today with Portugal, you can also pretty much bet the house that we'll lose....

[г]

Well, at least a Canadian scored a goal...