Notre Dame Mascot Controversey

[TRIPLE P]

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

(AP) South Bend, Indiana Notre Dame Unveils New Mascot

The University of Notre Dame' s Board of Trustees announced they
are changing the school' s legendary mascot. In a prepared statement,
Mr. Biolchini, a newly appointed University Trustee read from a prepared
statement.
"The NCAA asked us to look into the (mascot) question and we have.
After careful study, we determined the term 'Fighting Irish' is
inflammatory to a specific ethnic group. It has always been our belief
that the Irish are a proud and noble race. It was never our intention to
make light or demean the Irish people.
After consulting with students, faculty, members of the community,
and Pope Benedict XVI, we determined the Cicada is more befitting our
University. Just like our football team, the Cicada goes dormant for
years before emerging in all its glory. When it does come out, it is loud and
obnoxious. The Cicada looks mean and ugly, but it is really quite easy
to kill"
Mr. Biolchini did not take any questions from the stunned pressroom.
He could not be reached for comment.