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Henry4MVP
February 6th, 2004, 5:32:08 PM
A bear walks into a bar in Buffalo, New York and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer.

The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Buffalo."

The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer.

The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Buffalo."

The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar."

The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Buffalo."

The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman.

He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer.

The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Buffalo who are on drugs."

The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs!"

The bartender says, "You are now. That was a barbitchyouate."
Napalm
February 6th, 2004, 5:56:59 PM
LOL
:beerme:
mr.b
February 6th, 2004, 9:37:31 PM
Let me read that one more time....a barbitchyouate :banghead:
jimmifli
February 6th, 2004, 10:12:30 PM
:(
jimmifli
February 6th, 2004, 10:12:52 PM
You're trying to lose aren't you?
Henry4MVP
February 6th, 2004, 10:17:34 PM
Originally posted by jimmifli
You're trying to lose aren't you?

You noticed.
PUCKER
February 7th, 2004, 1:14:40 AM
*LOL*! I guess it wasnt that cute Labatts bear then. :(
MR. GIBBERISH
February 7th, 2004, 2:49:27 PM
:funnyguy: :fabulous1 henry that was awesome
jimmifli
February 7th, 2004, 3:10:04 PM
Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows?

























They're making headlines!
Henry4MVP
February 7th, 2004, 8:27:07 PM
:rolleyes:

How heavy are 4 elephant testicles?













Well, it takes two elephants to carry them....
jimmifli
February 7th, 2004, 10:13:55 PM
A guy went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee, and then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?"

The doctor replied, "It's very simple. You're two tents."
Henry4MVP
February 7th, 2004, 10:20:26 PM
Fine, jimmi. I tried to play nice. You asked for it.



Why couldn't the pirate go see the movie?


















Because it was rated "Aaarrrrrrrr."
jimmifli
February 7th, 2004, 10:35:10 PM
Where did Napoleon keep his armies?
In his sleevies.
Mehser
February 7th, 2004, 10:39:47 PM
:stupid:

Will you two stop this, please?

God, I miss Staright J sometimes.



;)
Henry4MVP
February 7th, 2004, 10:41:35 PM
Hey, Mehser...

Pete and Ree-Pete were sitting on a log. Pete fell off. Who was left on the log?
Mehser
February 7th, 2004, 10:50:50 PM
Nope. Sorry. I ain't gonna do it.

Ree-Pete.
Henry4MVP
February 7th, 2004, 11:37:06 PM
Hey, Mehser...

Pete and Ree-Pete were sitting on a log. Pete fell off. Who was left on the log?
jimmifli
February 8th, 2004, 3:23:50 PM
A hungry African lion came across two men. One was sitting under a tree and reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp.
MidnightVoice
February 8th, 2004, 3:29:37 PM
A guy goes into a bar in Texas and yells out "Bush is a horse's ass!" Everyone immediately jumps on him, beats him and throws him out into the street

He tries this a few more times, and ends up flat on his back and not ready to get up again. He says to a passing stranger "Boy, this is really Bush country, isn't it?" And the guy replies "No, it's horse country".
Henry4MVP
February 8th, 2004, 3:42:53 PM
What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?


















The taste.
MidnightVoice
February 8th, 2004, 3:45:22 PM
An auditory joke, or possibly an aural one.

How does a Frenchwoman hold her liquor?

By the ears.
MR. GIBBERISH
February 10th, 2004, 4:31:13 PM
An American soldier in world war two has just gotten leave and so he is in England and he gets on a train. Then he starts looking for seats and he sees this old lady with a dog and he goes "Excuse me ma'am may could you move your dog so that I may sit?" The old woman shouts at him and so he moves on. A little while later the soldier gets back and says ma'am there are no other seats on this train could you please move the dog so that I can sit down. The woman yells at him again so he picks up the dog and throws it out the window and this horrifies and silences the other passengers. Then this old English gentleman- possibly reeves- turns to him and says "you know old boy you Americans have a penchant for doing everything the wrong way; You can't make a good cup of tea, you drive on the wrong side of the road, and then you get on the train and throw the wrong bitch out the window.