Listen Up! with Mr.Chimp

[Jro]

http://football2130.fantasy.sportsline.com/var/images/leagues/rfam/listenup.jpg

Chimp like me is young, we're both 17. Sometimes being young around a group of "adults" isn't easy... I don't know about myself but Chimp fits right in... If you wern't sure of his age you would have geussed something alot older im sure... Here's the interview...

FoSho: Does bush deserve re-election? Why or Why not?
Chimp: Deserve may be to ambiguous a word. You should be asking will he get re-elected again. My answer to that question remains no.

FoSho: Give a brief explanation of where you stand on Gun Control?
Chimp: My view on GCLegislation depends on where you are. Some neighbourhoods need it, some neighbourhoods dont.
Cities, counties, districts and other municipalities should have the final say. Currently, the legislative, executive and judical branches of government want to make it their business to have the final word. So i am politically against any form of Gun control legislation becuase undoubtabley any attempt at legislation will only produce a new law full of indirection and inconsistency.
The law will then be 'passed down' to municipalities. This could create problems. As a standardized law may not be relevent in every county across america. Think of the enormous cost some already indebted counties and cities will have to bear to implement dubious new laws. Its an economic nightmare scenario for municipalities.
Philosophically though, Im not against it 100% or for it 100%.
So when you ask me where ' i stand' on gun control legislation, it makes me think you only think their can be only be 'two sides' to this issue.

FoSho: Is it right for the United States to get involved the middle east, trying to implement the "Road Map to Peace"?
Chimp: First and foremost we should ask oursleves not "is it right for the United States to get involved' but we should ask oursleves are the conditions right for the United States to get involved?".
It Depends on three things, the plan, the people executing the plan and most importantly the People and their leaders in the middle east.
Are these components for success firing on all three cylinders?

FoSho: If you want un-biased news, is there anywhere to go anymore?
Chimp: What do you mean by 'anymore'. There was never was any to begin with. You want unbiased news, go to a math website.
Otherwise, read as much as you can from all different sources.

FoSho: Tax Cuts have passed, Is it going to help of hurt?
Chimp: It all depends on how the corporations react to it.

FoSho: Anything wrong with the prison system in this country?
Chimp: The US prison system is a social and politcal swamp.

FoSho: Who is the most currupt president in history?
Chimp: Corrupt to me, may be moral to you.
Which president do I dislike the most? Richard Nixon.

FoSho: If you could change one thing about America what would it be?
Chimp: Its location. I would love to see America in the middle east bordering Africa.

FoSho: Tell the readers something that would surprise them about youself.
Chimp: Well recently, I admitted my true age. This must have come as a shocker to everyone. Surely, when they were 17 they did not posess my intelligence or my knowledge of economics and global politics. However, ill give my fans something that ought to surprise them.
I am part of a research organization called the "Toronto Zoo". What we do is research politically important events all around the globe. We then pass on this information to newspaper columnists, who then verify the authenticity of our research. If it checks out, they write about it. Of course they take all the credit, but we ask for none. We pride ourselves on truly being "undergound". You have to understand a lot of people run when they are approached by big media. So keeping our organization out of the limelight is important. This is primary reason why major news outlets see some use in the toronto zoo.
When we get good information we then give material to such newspapers writers from the toronto sun, toronto star, windsor star, london free press, globe and mail, national post, ottawa citizen etc. Sometimes they pay us, sometimes all we ask for is expenses paid. I have no set salary, its mostly 'volunteer 'work with perks.
I figure it will look good on a future resume so i dont mind not being paid for now.
In the Toronto zoo there are others like me. Im Mr.Chimp, some are called Mr.donkey, Mr.Horse, Mr,Snake, Mr. Bear, Mr Giraffe and so on. Of course, like most things there is a hierarchy to our organization. Most senior members have worked for or been affiliated with major media.
Im the youngest one there, and after blowing away the zoo members with my age and knowledge of politcs and economics, i was a shoe in to join. I guess you could say i was their first ever 'first round pick'. They are trying to 'develop' me.

FoSho: Does the Chimp have a "Special Someone"?
Chimp: yes and no, all we do is fight. She tends to be overprotective of me, which gets real annoying. But she is only 16, so i cant really blame her. After all it is me she is trying to protect, so that cant be that bad and for that i 'love' her. Plus, she buys me alot of things and drives me around.

Thats all for this interview...

[Mouldsie]

"But she is only 16, so i cant really blame her."


:rofl:



"Well recently, I admitted my true age. This must have come as a shocker to everyone. Surely, when they were 17 they did not posess my intelligence or my knowledge of economics and global politics."


:funnyguy: :rofl: :rolleyes2

[jjm19672000]

I thought Chimp is Canadian. So he's being asked about American affairs?

[Mehser]

Originally posted by Jrofosho
[IMG]

Surely, when they were 17 they did not posess my intelligence or my knowledge of economics and global politics.

Or your arrogance.

News flash - The most intelligent people are the people that don't have to go around telling people how smart they are.

[Player6600]

Chimp is just a kid, I just hope he's doing all his homework

[BILLSareBACK]

Chimp: Well recently, I admitted my true age. This must have come as a shocker to everyone. [list=1]
[/list=1] [list=1]
[/list=1] I was shocked, i thought he was twelve.He sure fooled me.

[mighty peace warrior]

alright guys enough child abuse........he is just a misguided youth.

[sabres081]

thats right

[Mr.Chimp]

posted by mighty peace warrior
he is just a misguided youth.

Posted by sabres081
Thats right.


WoW. If im a misgudied youth, then you are misguided adults. I find this appalling. A police officer and citizen agreeing that i am "misgudied'.

Misgudied is a social label attached with juvenile delinquints who rob, steal, hurt or even sometimes murder their fellow peers.

Yet, i am young man with a plan and a clear set of defined goals. I am not misguided, sir. I play by the rules...and do you know why I do? Because I can play within the rules better then you can.

As adults, you should be ashamed of the way you are carelessly throwing around social stigma's.

[shiva2999]

BTW chimpy, I tried to reply to your pm when you wrote me, but your inbox was full.

[Mr.Chimp]

Nice...can you send it now?

[Scott Vaughn]

It is good to see that you have learned to be humble at such a young age. Your family needs to give you more attention at home so you stop coming here looking for it.

[EricStratton]

Let’s not turn this into a bash Chimp extravaganza please.

[mighty peace warrior]

misguided doesnt neccessarily mean a delinquient. You need to relax and not blow everything out of proportion.

[JoeMama]

When I was 17, I only cared about three things.

1) dating little blonde girls

2) playing baseball

3) developing my distaste for the religious right

[BogusTrumper]

I was always political. When I was 17 I was working up a plan to get Reagan kicked out of the White House. I was going to line up a Senate page. Little did I know that it would be sufficient to find a willing female. I was looking forward to turning 18 so that I could get my ears pierced. I didn't worry about anything else.

[BogusTrumper]

Chimp, better hold on to that girlfriend until you get your own car.

[Player6600]

Originally posted by Jrofosho


. But she is only 16, so i cant really blame her.



she's only 16 , wow I can't believe she's dating someone so much older. Does the age difference affect your relationship?

[Mr.Chimp]

Older and smarter.

[mighty peace warrior]

can we get a biting my tounge icon???

[reeves84]

Originally posted by mighty peace warrior
can we get a biting my tounge icon???

you might try :rofl:

[EricStratton]

Originally posted by reeves84
you might try :rofl:


Seems to work in this case Reeves.

[BogusTrumper]

Player gets my vote for post of the year.

[Player6600]

thanks Bogus, i like the fact that 18 years old your main focus was getting your ears pierced

[BogusTrumper]

Well, that and whether impressing the bouncer at Dark Horse was going to cause him grief with the rest of the line for letting an underage me into the bar ahead of them.

[Mr.Chimp]

Does it really matter what you all did 47 years ago ? This thread is about me, talk to me.

[reeves84]

Is there any intelligent life out there?

[jimmifli]

Bogus, underage in bars? You wild child!

[reeves84]

Some of us were probably underage in bars before she was born. She is only 29.

[BogusTrumper]

This thread is about me.

So Dark Horse was my favorite until I met the bouncer at Auntie Mae's and everyone knows that getting into a 21 club is way more fun than getting into an 18 bar. So my girlfriend and I . . .

[reeves84]

OK, the neverending story starts here.

Originally posted by BogusTrumper
So Dark Horse was my favorite until I met the bouncer at Auntie Mae's and everyone knows that getting into a 21 club is way more fun than getting into an 18 bar. So my girlfriend and I . . .

went to downtown Manhattan....

[Player6600]

Bogus you were a wild child

[BogusTrumper]

Exactly. Manhattan, KS. Aggieville to be precise (it's a shopping district, it's the center of KSU nightlife, it's a town within a town). We went down to Aggieville and took advantage of the people we knew. See, Lumpy, the Auntie Mae bouncer, was a Pike and my friend Gretchen and her sisters were Pi Kappa Alpha little sisters. So she can sing the Pi Kappa Alpha song from beginning to end. Anyway . . .

[reeves84]

..when we got we got into the place who should I see but the first............

[gilchristfan]

Reeves, you are too funny.

[BogusTrumper]

people who arrived there every day - our good friends Mike and Mark. They usually arrived at 3 pm or so - so we always had a place to sit even though it was always a not-even-standing-room crowd. Fortunately they were always already snockered which meant that they would spend the night buying us drinks and entertaining us in between our "walks." So after our usual, "Oh Muffy, how have you been? We'll have to get together for lunch sometime" greeting we . . .

[BogusTrumper]

Originally posted by gilchristfan
Reeves, you are too funny.

What's so funny? He has contributed nothing of substance to this conversation :D

[reeves84]

Originally posted by BogusTrumper
What's so funny? He has contributed nothing of substance to this conversation :D

But my ineffable lightness of being is amusing.

[BogusTrumper]

I told you how much I like Milan Kundera, didn't I?

[gilchristfan]

Oh, there was an actual conversation going on? I hadn't realized. It osunded more like the "continuing sentence" thread in the Asylum. J/k

Been to Aggieville on numerous occasions during LS, much prefered Westport though

[BogusTrumper]

Anyway, Mike and Mark were discussing The Unbearable Lightness of Being (but only the sexy parts) when we left them to make our rounds and who do you think we should run into but . . .

[reeves84]

....someone who actualy understood the meaning of ineffable, and, what is more knew that Bt was a woman. He......

[BogusTrumper]

was unusual in that respect but his reaction to running into her was not. He invited her to Westport aboard a small plane that he was planning to rent, piloted by a humorless . . .

[reeves84]

married but attractive young man. When they had been flying for a few hours she realized they were not going to Westport after all, but seemed to be headed to..........

[Henry4MVP]

(hey, I wanna play)

...Costa Rica. The pilot, a Siberian softcore pornography actor named Guga, strapped on a parachute, grabbed the other two 'chutes, and jumped out of the Cessna. Our protagonists...

[reeves84]

,neither of whom could fly, thought that as they only a short while before the plane ran out of fuel (it was autoplilot, you see), they would use that time and would.......

[Henry4MVP]

...try and find the Cessna's manual, so they could attempt to fly the plane. The manuel was gone, though. All they found was the script to Guga's last film, and it inspired them to...

[BironsGirl43]

Originally posted by Player6600
i like the fact that 18 years old your main focus was getting your ears pierced

I had my ears pierced since I was about 6 months.... lol.. :alien:

Chimp.. very interesting interview.. lol

[BogusTrumper]

BG, this thread is not about you. My parents were a little strict - which pretty much explains it all.

. . . inflate the raft in the back of the aircraft, throw it out the window, and jump in. Despite her respect for Guga, Bogus couldn't help but feel like she had seen it all before. It seemed like . . .

[reeves84]

..deja vu all over again. But there was an upside to this whole situation. She was alone in a raft with Guga and Manuel, in the middle of St. Angelo, Texas, where the raft had landed. So she......

[BironsGirl43]

What are you guys doing!?! Are you singing a song or something? Maybe I should leave.... lol......

And sorry BT.. I wasn't trying to make it about me.. I just made a comment...

[ticatfan3]

Looks like you got your knuckles rapped there BG.LOL

[EricStratton]

Originally posted by BironsGirl43
What are you guys doing!?! Are you singing a song or something? Maybe I should leave.... lol......

And sorry BT.. I wasn't trying to make it about me.. I just made a comment...

Take no offence BG, the old folks are just on a roll.

Sometimes the nurse ups the meds and this kind of thing happens. It will pass.

[reeves84]

Yes, this is a Bogus is Brilliant and Beautiful thread. :D

Some one else continue please....

[reeves84]

Originally posted by EricStratton
Sometimes the nurse ups the meds and this kind of thing happens. It will pass.

I can't wait until BT the B&B gets to see that one!! :D

[BironsGirl43]

Originally posted by EricStratton
Take no offence BG, the old folks are just on a roll.

Sometimes the nurse ups the meds and this kind of thing happens. It will pass.

LOL..

Naw, I honestly wouldn't want to ruin her thread.. I'll just keep my mouth shut from now on..:missed:

[reeves84]

Originally posted by BironsGirl43
I'll just keep my mouth shut from now on..:missed:

Are you sure you are female? That does not sound like a woman to me.... :D

[Henry4MVP]

Originally posted by reeves84
..deja vu all over again. But there was an upside to this whole situation. She was alone in a raft with Guga and Manuel, in the middle of St. Angelo, Texas, where the raft had landed. So she......

...looked around, and noticed that St. Angelo was a very humid town. Manuel began to fight with Guga over the only canteen in the first aid kit. She figured that the best way to cool off would be to...

[reeves84]

Originally posted by Henry4MVP
...looked around, and noticed that St. Angelo was a very humid town. Manuel began to fight with Guga over the only canteen in the first aid kit. She figured that the best way to cool off would be to...

to go to the nearest bar that would accept underage females and have a drink. So she entered the "Burning Bushie" tavern. But she had forgotten that she was in Texas, and in Texas they.......

[EricStratton]

Originally posted by reeves84
to go to the nearest bar that would accept underage females and have a drink. So she entered the "Burning Bushie" tavern. But she had forgotten that she was in Texas, and in Texas they.......


…drink beer without pants on so off came the Levi’s, the bartender smiled and down the bar slid a cold…

[Henry4MVP]

...won't let the ladies drink until they've gotten topless for the viewing pleasure of the other patrons. She thought about it carefully, and decided to...

[Mr.Chimp]

Actually this is my thread BG, so BT...

quit pretending your 21 again, and gracefully give me back my thread. No one cares about your wanker days, getting into bars that played kharma khameleon and metallica.:sunshine:

[reeves84]

Mr. Chimp. The thread is MUCH more fun withoiut you :D

[BironsGirl43]

I thought so too Chimp.. but I was informed otherwise.. and what BT says.. goes...

[gilchristfan]

OK, whoever is writing this thing, would you please make chimp a character in the story?

[reeves84]

Originally posted by gilchristfan
OK, whoever is writing this thing, would you please make chimp a character in the story?

That would be child abuse, and he might sue.

[Mr.Chimp]

what BT says goes? only to men who havent gotten any or have an ugly girlfriend would go along with whatever any women says.

[BironsGirl43]

Originally posted by Mr.Chimp
what BT says goes? only to men who havent gotten any or have an ugly girlfriend would go along with whatever any women says.

I'm not a man.. and I was kidding..

Geez.. easy tiger!!

[BogusTrumper]

What would monkey say in a situation like this?

bwahahahahahahahahah!

So anyway, Bogus, who is 17 BTW, went into the bar topless and bottomless just because she can't pass up a dare. There was a chimp, a Frenchman, and a Jew at the bar . . .

[reeves84]

Originally posted by Mr.Chimp
only to men who havent gotten any or have an ugly girlfriend would go along with whatever any women says.

:rofl:

[BogusTrumper]

Scratch that. Chimp, forget I ever said that.


So anyway, Bogus, who is 17 BTW, went into the bar topless and bottomless just because she can't pass up a dare. But no one noticed because BG was there with her tiger. The tiger . . .

[reeves84]

..was a talking animal, which immediately made everyone think of the Bible. This drove all impure thoughts out of their heads and caused instant conversion to Fundamental Chritisnity. As a result....

[Mehser]

JM stood up, sobbing uncontrollably as he admitted all of his past sins and gave his life to the Lord. Suddenly,....

[jimmifli]

Pigs flew out of a frozen hell.

[JoeMama]

Haha...

[YardRat]

Originally posted by JoeMama
Haha...

...exclaimed BT as the pigs evacuated the premises attempting to flee the suddenly righteous atmosphere. Appalled that her underaged and unclad torso had been upstaged by a religious uproar, she provocatively wheeled on the bartender and yelled...

[Mehser]

"Where the hell is Flutie!!!". Flabbergasted, the bartender

[Henry4MVP]

...pulled off his mask, and was revealed to be none other than Doug Flutie! As the tiger subdued him, he snarled, "It was a perfect plan, and I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for that damned kid!" Beaming, Chimp responded...

[jimmifli]

"The War Must Be Stopped Now! Remove Rumsfeld, Cheney and Co.! The war of aggression against Iraq must be ended immediately. Already there exists the clear danger that there will be no "after the Iraq war"; rather, it is threatening to spread into a global war, in the course of which the U.S.A. will implement its new military doctrine of "preventive" first-use of nuclear weapons. Donald Rumsfeld and Colin Powell have already mentioned "consequences" for Syria and Iran. The Iraq war has already triggered a clear aggravation of the situation around North Korea, and the Japanese Defense Minister warned of a possible "pre-emptive" war against the North Korean nuclear arms potential. If we want to prevent a world catastrophe, this war must be stopped now.

This is possible only if the war party—the so-called "Chicken-hawks," Rumsfeld, Cheney, Wolfowitz, Feith, Perle, Shulsky and Co.—is thrown out of the Bush Administration immediately. And this is not impossible, since:
1) The war is not the "cakewalk" that Rumsfeld promised, but rather is about to turn into a new Vietnam. The "cheap" blitzkrieg, with predominant deployment of aerial bombardments and limited ground troops, has shown itself to be a fantasy of the utopian military faction. Now it has come out that Rumsfeld rejected the highly developed Pentagon document for war planning (TPFDL: time-phased and force deployment list), and with it any centralized military planning, as well as the advice of traditional military professionals. Rumsfeld's military incompetence is obvious.

2) The entire war has been built on lies. The intelligence department of the Pentagon, newly installed by Wolfowitz, under Abram Shulsky, systematically circulated disinformation, in order to construct the basis for war. For example, the alleged facts about Iraqi weapons of mass destruction, in the "White Papers" which were published in Britain and the United States in September 2002. For example, the forged documents purporting to show that Iraq tried to import uranium from Niger, and the alleged proof that Iraq had links to al-Qaeda. All these lies created the basis for Powell's speech before the UN on Feb. 5 of this year.

3) It has come to light that an astonishing number of members of the war party are not only followers of the philosophical fascists Leo Strauss and Allan Bloom, but are also lining their pockets with money, as a result of the war. Richard Perle ("Mr. Regime-Change-in-Germany"), has already had to resign as chairman of the Defense Policy Board; and Democratic Congressman John Conyers has opened an investigation into Perle's conflict of interest, whereby he used a public office for private gain. Perle, through his company, Trireme, reportedly attempted to extort $100 million from Saudi princes, in exchange for stopping the attacks against Saudi Arabia as a sponsor of terrorism—attacks Perle himself had initiated! Perle is also involved in a scandal around the sale of Global Crossing.

Vice President Dick Cheney and his daughter Elizabeth Cheney are involved in a scandal around the firm Halliburton, which, among other things, has already won bids for contracts for reconstruction of Iraq. Former CIA chief James Woolsey is an advisor to the firm Booz Allen Hamilton Inc., which in 2002 received Pentagon contracts worth $688 million. He is also linked to a firm which has contracts for Ashcroft's homeland defense.

The danger is enormous, that this war, built on lies, incompetently planned, and in flagrant violation of international law, may lead to a dangerous escalation.

'Uniting for Peace' Resolution
Therefore, it is urgent that a session of the United Nations General Assembly be convoked, to decide on the immediate end of the war. A precedent for the convening of the UNGA is Resolution 377, "Uniting for Peace," which the UN adopted in 1950 during the Korean War, and which can be activated—in the event a Security Council action is blocked by a veto—by a simple majority of the member nations, or the vote of seven members of the UN Security Council.

The League of Arab States, the Non-Aligned Movement, Russia, and China have already called for the General Assembly to meet. But many of these countries believe that they can resist the pressure of the United States, which has designated such a General Assembly as an unfriendly act, only if Germany and France join those calling for its convocation. When it is a question of war or peace, a question of the danger of a new horrible world war, which would thrust mankind into a new dark age, then world public opinion must be established by which it is powerfully demonstrated, that the absolute majority of people in the world are opposed to this war! This General Assembly of the UN must take place at the level of heads of state.

Therefore: Germany and France must immediately support the call for the UN General Assembly!

The current Iraq war crisis also makes clear, that things cannot continue with the current world economic order. People in most parts of the world are suffering cruel injustice, through hunger, poverty, and disease, which cut short their lives. A financial and economic world order in which tens of thousands of children starve daily, and one-third of humanity goes hungry—when this could be prevented—is not acceptable. This world financial system has reached the final phase of its collapse, and herein lies the real source of the war dynamic.

The demand of the leading opposition political figure in the United States, and Democratic pre-candidate for the Presidential elections, Lyndon LaRouche, for a new financial system—a New Bretton Woods—must be implemented urgently by the governments of Eurasia. Only when the systemic financial and economic crisis is overcome, can the war danger be permanently eliminated. The construction of the Eurasian Land-Bridge—that is, the infrastructural and economic integration of Eurasia—is the only way that unemployment in our countries can be overcome, and an upswing accomplished which overshadows the Rooseveltian New Deal and the 1945 Marshall Plan. Peace through development!"

Or something like that...

[Henry4MVP]

:funnyguy: Nice!

[jimmifli]

I thought you'd like that. I'm still giggling.

[Mehser]

Very amusing. Maybe you are as smart as the Chimp.

That is why I want you interviewed.

[Mouldsie]

and I came in and said "I suppose we should have some sympathy for Chimp's handicap. He is obviously paralyzed from the neck up."




Can't we all be a little more understanding on these forums?

[BogusTrumper]

You know, we do have an interactive story forum:



2002 - The Year of Drew (http://www.buffalorange.com/vbstory.php?storyid=2&chapterid=1)
Flutie Returns to Buffalo (http://www.buffalorange.com/vbstory.php?storyid=4&chapterid=1)
Chimp goes to Washington (http://www.buffalorange.com/vbstory.php?storyid=5&chapterid=1)

They're those pick your path kinda things. Add your own chapter.

[Mr.Chimp]

I am very interactive---I aint hard to find.

[BogusTrumper]

Here's a link:

http://www.buffalorange.com/vbstory.php?s=&genreid=1

Or use the link at the top of your welcome page.