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BironsGirl43
February 1st, 2003, 6:31:31 PM
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days.

Eventually, Michael the Arcangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made."

Arcangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place of great balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people,"
God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Arcangel, impressed by Gods work, then pointed to a large land mass in the top corner and asked, "What's that one?"

"Ah," said God. "That's Canada, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful mountains,lakes, rivers, streams and an exquisite coastline. The people from Canada are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard working and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace. I'm also going to give them super-human, undefeatable ice hockey players who will be admired and feared by all who come across them."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed; "What about balance, God? You said there will be BALANCE!"

God replied wisely. "Wait until you see the loud-mouth bastards I'm putting next to them...." :missed:

BILLSareBACK
February 1st, 2003, 7:15:28 PM
That was hilarious...lol:D

Billsman
February 1st, 2003, 10:26:49 PM
Love it!

Joe Friday
February 2nd, 2003, 12:38:57 AM
I think that about explains it.

BogusTrumper
February 2nd, 2003, 11:35:23 PM
hehehe

jimmifli
February 3rd, 2003, 10:25:33 AM
A Canadian is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm.

His friend Doug stops him and asks, “Hey Bob! Whacha get the case of beer for?”

“I got it for my wife, eh.” answers Bob.

“Oh!” exclaims Doug, “Good trade.”

EricStratton
February 3rd, 2003, 11:00:28 AM
A guy from Quebec and a guy from Ontario are fighting over a lantern when a genie pops out and grants them each one wish.

The Quebecer says, "I want a wall around Quebec to protect my culture. Make it about 150 feet high, so nothing can get in or out."

"It is done," says the genie, turning to the other guy. "And your wish?"

The guy from Ontario smiles and says, "Fill it with water."

BILLSareBACK
February 3rd, 2003, 12:18:03 PM
What do you call a canadian fireman? A Hoser

Gibby
September 16th, 2006, 6:10:50 PM
this is an oldie, but its still funny.

Jayhawk
September 16th, 2006, 6:28:15 PM
and you bumped a three year old thread because?

Gibby
September 16th, 2006, 6:45:14 PM
and you bumped a three year old thread because?

I was bored.