Billsman
August 3rd, 2007, 2:22:59 AM
----- Original Message ----- From: rlfanch (rlfanch@roadrunner.com)
To: James Bentley ("]"Undisclosed-Recipient:;"@mail07.ispc.ispnet.us[/EMAIL]
Sent: Sunday, July 15, 2007 7:44 PM
Subject: Fw: Dumb de Dumb-Dumb
----- Original Message ----- From: [EMAIL="jben8626@dnet.net)
To: Tom Walker (thomshirl@tampabay.rr.com) ; Rollin Fancher (rlfanch@adelphia.net) ; Holly B. Johnson (heavenfluf@tampabay.rr.com) ; Paulette Dozier (pdozier@brmemc.net) ; Dennis&Ellen Worthen (nehtrow@netscape.com)
Sent: Sunday, July 15, 2007 5:16 PM
Subject: Dumb de Dumb-Dumb
Actual call center conversations!Customer: "I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't getthrough; can you help?"Operator: "Where did you get that number, sir?"Customer: "It's on the door of your business."Operator: "Sir, those are the hours that we are open."++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++++++++++++++++++Samsung ElectronicsCaller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about."Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearlystates that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack beforecleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"MS; font-size: 18px; font-weight: bold; ">Operator: "I think it means the telephone plug on the wall."----------------------------------------------------------------------Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe )"If I register my car in France , and then take it to England , do I have to change the steeringwheel to the other side of the car?"----------------------------------------------------------------------Directory EnquiriesCaller: "I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please"Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?"Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off."----------------------------------------------------------------------Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in Scotland "----------------------------------------------------------------------On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phonebox told a worried operator:"I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on."----------------------------------------------------------------------Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."Customer: "OK."Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"Customer: "No."Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"Customer: "No."Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."----------------------------------------------------------------------Tech Support: "OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"Customer: "Wow! How can you see my screen from there?"----------------------------------------------------------------------Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?"----------------------------------------------------------------------This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. Thisis a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless toMS; font-size: 18px; font-weight: bold; ">saythe Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause."
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.(Now I know why they record these conversations!):Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."Operator: "What sort of trouble??"Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."Operator: "Went away?"Caller: "They disappeared."Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"Caller: "Nothing."Operator: "Nothing??"Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"Caller: "How do I tell?"Operator: "Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen??"Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"Caller: "There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type."Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"Caller: "What's a monitor?"Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"Caller: "I don't know."Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"Caller: "Yes, I think so."Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.Caller: "Yes, it is."Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"Caller: "No."Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."Caller: "Okay, here it is."Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."Caller: "I can't reach."Operator: "OK. Well, can you see if it is??"Caller: "No."Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"Caller: "Well, it' s not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark."Operator: "Dark??"Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."Caller: "I can't."Operator: "No? Why not??"Caller: "Because there's a power failure."Operator: "A power .... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in??"Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is."Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"Operator: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!!!"
<!-- end of AOLMsgPart_2_1cc9e388-b863-4273-a509-268c8c92713e --><STYLE>.AOLWebSuite .AOLPicturesFullSizeLink { height: 1px; width: 1px; overflow: hidden; }</STYLE>
To: James Bentley ("]"Undisclosed-Recipient:;"@mail07.ispc.ispnet.us[/EMAIL]
Sent: Sunday, July 15, 2007 7:44 PM
Subject: Fw: Dumb de Dumb-Dumb
----- Original Message ----- From: [EMAIL="jben8626@dnet.net)
To: Tom Walker (thomshirl@tampabay.rr.com) ; Rollin Fancher (rlfanch@adelphia.net) ; Holly B. Johnson (heavenfluf@tampabay.rr.com) ; Paulette Dozier (pdozier@brmemc.net) ; Dennis&Ellen Worthen (nehtrow@netscape.com)
Sent: Sunday, July 15, 2007 5:16 PM
Subject: Dumb de Dumb-Dumb
Actual call center conversations!Customer: "I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't getthrough; can you help?"Operator: "Where did you get that number, sir?"Customer: "It's on the door of your business."Operator: "Sir, those are the hours that we are open."++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++++++++++++++++++Samsung ElectronicsCaller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about."Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearlystates that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack beforecleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"MS; font-size: 18px; font-weight: bold; ">Operator: "I think it means the telephone plug on the wall."----------------------------------------------------------------------Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe )"If I register my car in France , and then take it to England , do I have to change the steeringwheel to the other side of the car?"----------------------------------------------------------------------Directory EnquiriesCaller: "I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please"Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?"Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off."----------------------------------------------------------------------Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in Scotland "----------------------------------------------------------------------On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phonebox told a worried operator:"I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on."----------------------------------------------------------------------Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."Customer: "OK."Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"Customer: "No."Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"Customer: "No."Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."----------------------------------------------------------------------Tech Support: "OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"Customer: "Wow! How can you see my screen from there?"----------------------------------------------------------------------Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?"----------------------------------------------------------------------This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. Thisis a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless toMS; font-size: 18px; font-weight: bold; ">saythe Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause."
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.(Now I know why they record these conversations!):Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."Operator: "What sort of trouble??"Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."Operator: "Went away?"Caller: "They disappeared."Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"Caller: "Nothing."Operator: "Nothing??"Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"Caller: "How do I tell?"Operator: "Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen??"Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"Caller: "There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type."Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"Caller: "What's a monitor?"Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"Caller: "I don't know."Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"Caller: "Yes, I think so."Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.Caller: "Yes, it is."Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"Caller: "No."Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."Caller: "Okay, here it is."Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."Caller: "I can't reach."Operator: "OK. Well, can you see if it is??"Caller: "No."Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"Caller: "Well, it' s not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark."Operator: "Dark??"Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."Caller: "I can't."Operator: "No? Why not??"Caller: "Because there's a power failure."Operator: "A power .... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in??"Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is."Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"Operator: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!!!"
<!-- end of AOLMsgPart_2_1cc9e388-b863-4273-a509-268c8c92713e --><STYLE>.AOLWebSuite .AOLPicturesFullSizeLink { height: 1px; width: 1px; overflow: hidden; }</STYLE>