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sukie
February 12th, 2007, 10:15:27 PM
Joke 2.
Are you Democrat, Republican, or Southern?

Here is a test that will help you decide. You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor? Or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

Republican's Answer:

BANG!

Southerner's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click..... (Sounds of reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?

Son: Can I shoot the next one!

Wife: You ain't taking that dang thang to the Taxidermist!

D34dm4n
February 12th, 2007, 10:46:11 PM
lol, i think i like the other one better but im not one to talk, i could never come up with something like this

Gibby
February 13th, 2007, 2:42:57 AM
:guy:

Meathead
February 13th, 2007, 3:44:04 AM
:snore:

deconstruction
February 13th, 2007, 10:01:51 AM
They missed some details from the Republican Bit: Does this person look poor?Bang. Ooops, it was just someone from Mexico here picking fruit. Oh well, good, now I have to pay less taxes. He probably did something to deserve the death penalty anyway. Hey kids, why don't you get in our gas guzzling SUV and tow our ostentatious boat that we use 3 times a year to our lake house and waste a bunch of fossil fuels. Hopefully I won't drink too much scotch and beat my kids tonight!

uppy
February 13th, 2007, 10:48:00 AM
I like the Southerner's Answer

JLB
February 13th, 2007, 10:51:35 AM
I'm a dead man lol.

uppy
February 13th, 2007, 11:01:25 AM
They missed some details from the Republican Bit: Does this person look poor?Bang. Ooops, it was just someone from Mexico here picking fruit. Oh well, good, now I have to pay less taxes. He probably did something to deserve the death penalty anyway. Hey kids, why don't you get in our gas guzzling SUV and tow our ostentatious boat that we use 3 times a year to our lake house and waste a bunch of fossil fuels. Hopefully I won't drink too much scotch and beat my kids tonight!

Not all Republican own power boats....some have sail boats

Gibby
February 13th, 2007, 11:32:24 AM
Not all Republican own power boats....some have sail boats

truth be told I know of lots of DNC environmentalists who drive around in SUVs. Ah the hypocrisy of it all.

uppy
February 13th, 2007, 11:34:51 AM
truth be told I know of lots of DNC environmentalists who drive around in SUVs. Ah the hypocrisy of it all.

John Kerry owns 5 of them.

Gibby
February 13th, 2007, 11:37:47 AM
John Kerry owns 5 of them.

remember comrade Gore? The super environmentalist candidate in 2000- during a drought nonetheless- had water supplies opened to raise a creek so that he could have a photo op. The farmers hated it.

uppy
February 13th, 2007, 11:42:10 AM
Yup...Gore also ran a Strip Mining op on his land

Gibby
February 13th, 2007, 12:02:54 PM
Yup...Gore also ran a Strip Mining op on his land

and I don't think that it is in compliance with EPA regs either.