Foster Care System

[Julianna]

I just have to put it out here today guys, the foster care system sucks and believe it or not I'm a foster parent.

A sweet blue eyed 2 yr boy entered my home this weekend. Taken away from his young druggie mom in October 2005. While in mom's care as she was "visiting" a friend at a motel in 2005 the child then 1 ingested cocaine and a scrip pill was found in the cheek of his mouth when he was rushed to the ER. DCF pulled the child and he was placed in a foster home, mom escaped ALL charges when the chambermaid from the motel showed up at court to testify SHE forgot to clean the room before the friend rented it for the weekend. Although mom did not get him back, she did recieve supervised visits with him from the family court judge in which she has been in and out of his life. The child arrives at my home Friday with a large bag of meds. containing breathing treatments, ointments, drops anything and everything to do with curing a sick child. Over the course of the weekend although I adminster all the meds. as prescribed and he is getting worse. His coughing sounds like a high pitched baby seal which means it's the "croup". I call the casemanger who acts like I'm crazy only to be told "Yeah-he's been sick on and off since December 2005 we have reports from other foster parents" What's my point in all this?

I took him to see MY doctor yesterday. Discontinued all his current meds. but the breathing treatments, in fact added new meds. to the breathing treatments then handed me a scrip for a "sweat test" for him. Doctor thinks there is a chance this darling boy might have Cystic Fibrosis-this darling boy who I just met Friday night, this darling boy who loves peanut/jelly sandwiches while watching the Disney channel and wraps his arms around my neck so tight while he plants a kiss on my cheek and calls me Mommy-might not live to see 5 years old.

So tell me why are case mangers so lax? Foster parents so dam lazy? It makes me pissed off to high hell. Really as a foster parent I know the answers myself. Case mangers are over loaded so they don't care and most foster parents just want to pack them in for the money they recieve per. month for each child. A routine trip to the doctor is all they will do, after that they don't want to be bothered. It's a shame.

[Gibby]

I hate the gestapo- child protective services or whatever you want to call them- for different reasons. When I was a very small lad about 3 years old my mom had a job that had variable hours and just once she could not find a sitter. So she went to work and told her coworkers -and in Christian love and judgement, did I mention she was a single parent- who promptly called MO Div of Family Services. The state in its infinite wisdom put me in protective custody where I was beaten. Oh did I tell you that the wonderful disciplinarians they put me with put me in timeout and then fed my dinner to their dogs? Did I tell you that years after my mom got a good attorney who reunited mom and I in less than 2 years the foster father, who BTW could never keep a job for more than six months and was a heavy drinker, got convicted of sexual molestation for crimes against some of the girls there? Did I mention that I was beaten there and emotionally abused by the noble parents in that wretched house?

I see the point of having foster care because some kids have to be removed from what are truly intolerable environments but the state better make damn sure that the child is going into an environment that is far better than the one he or she left. This means that prereqs for foster parents should be
good credit score, steady employment history, strong loving and lasting marriage. If there has been even one divorce for anything then you should be disqualified. A spotless criminal record should also be a requirement.

Aside from this the state should always, except in cases of severe abuse and molestation, seek to keep families together. Neglect, no matter how bad, should never be a reason for removing a child from his family. Social workers should always try to assist in the situation and improve the condition of the home.

Now here is an added tidbit that I could live with and fully support. Before or during pregnancy a person should be required to get a parenting license in order to have a child. Essentially this means you take 10-20 hours of parenting classes that give practical tips on how to raise a child and then you get a license.

[GOPchick]

This was the sadest post I have ever read, and you just made me cry!

I cannot handle these stories, and that mother ass should be in jail!

I think it is great that you have taken this little boy into your home. He needs a lot of love and attention. You are a great person, and there should be more people like you in this world!

[ckg68]

Here's another question: What happens when foster kids "grow out" of the system,having never been adopted,and are on their own?

Well,as Detroit Metro Times columnist Jack Lessenberry notes,it's not pretty:

http://www.metrotimes.com/editorial/story.asp?id=8936

[Gibby]

Here's another question: What happens when foster kids "grow out" of the system,having never been adopted,and are on their own?

Well,as Detroit Metro Times columnist Jack Lessenberry notes,it's not pretty:

http://www.metrotimes.com/editorial/story.asp?id=8936

I know, I was one of the lucky ones. I managed to get out of that system in less than 2 years.

[Julianna]

I hate the gestapo- child protective services or whatever you want to call them- for different reasons. When I was a very small lad about 3 years old my mom had a job that had variable hours and just once she could not find a sitter. So she went to work and told her coworkers -and in Christian love and judgement, did I mention she was a single parent- who promptly called MO Div of Family Services. The state in its infinite wisdom put me in protective custody where I was beaten. Oh did I tell you that the wonderful disciplinarians they put me with put me in timeout and then fed my dinner to their dogs? Did I tell you that years after my mom got a good attorney who reunited mom and I in less than 2 years the foster father, who BTW could never keep a job for more than six months and was a heavy drinker, got convicted of sexual molestation for crimes against some of the girls there? Did I mention that I was beaten there and emotionally abused by the noble parents in that wretched house?

I see the point of having foster care because some kids have to be removed from what are truly intolerable environments but the state better make damn sure that the child is going into an environment that is far better than the one he or she left. This means that prereqs for foster parents should be
good credit score, steady employment history, strong loving and lasting marriage. If there has been even one divorce for anything then you should be disqualified. A spotless criminal record should also be a requirement.

Aside from this the state should always, except in cases of severe abuse and molestation, seek to keep families together. Neglect, no matter how bad, should never be a reason for removing a child from his family. Social workers should always try to assist in the situation and improve the condition of the home.

Now here is an added tidbit that I could live with and fully support. Before or during pregnancy a person should be required to get a parenting license in order to have a child. Essentially this means you take 10-20 hours of parenting classes that give practical tips on how to raise a child and then you get a license.




I am truly sorry for what you have been through. This, what you have wrote should never ever happen to anyone! I'm sure this was hard for you to write and I thank you for sharing this.

As a Foster Parent myself, we do go through a background check, finger printing etc., but others, the bad ones, bluff their way through.

[Julianna]

This was the sadest post I have ever read, and you just made me cry!

I cannot handle these stories, and that mother ass should be in jail!

I think it is great that you have taken this little boy into your home. He needs a lot of love and attention. You are a great person, and there should be more people like you in this world!



Thank you! :)

[Julianna]

Here's another question: What happens when foster kids "grow out" of the system,having never been adopted,and are on their own?

Well,as Detroit Metro Times columnist Jack Lessenberry notes,it's not pretty:

http://www.metrotimes.com/editorial/story.asp?id=8936


Well once you turn 18 and you are in a foster home, here are the options:

1) You can leave on your own because know YOU at 18 are in charge of yourself.

2) The foster family can continue having you live with them if that is what you both want and now you recieve a check if you go to continue your education in which if you are adult about, you pay your living expenses to the foster parent from that check.

[gilchristfan]

I just have to put it out here today guys, the foster care system sucks and believe it or not I'm a foster parent.

A sweet blue eyed 2 yr boy entered my home this weekend. Taken away from his young druggie mom in October 2005. While in mom's care as she was "visiting" a friend at a motel in 2005 the child then 1 ingested cocaine and a scrip pill was found in the cheek of his mouth when he was rushed to the ER. DCF pulled the child and he was placed in a foster home, mom escaped ALL charges when the chambermaid from the motel showed up at court to testify SHE forgot to clean the room before the friend rented it for the weekend. Although mom did not get him back, she did recieve supervised visits with him from the family court judge in which she has been in and out of his life. The child arrives at my home Friday with a large bag of meds. containing breathing treatments, ointments, drops anything and everything to do with curing a sick child. Over the course of the weekend although I adminster all the meds. as prescribed and he is getting worse. His coughing sounds like a high pitched baby seal which means it's the "croup". I call the casemanger who acts like I'm crazy only to be told "Yeah-he's been sick on and off since December 2005 we have reports from other foster parents" What's my point in all this?

I took him to see MY doctor yesterday. Discontinued all his current meds. but the breathing treatments, in fact added new meds. to the breathing treatments then handed me a scrip for a "sweat test" for him. Doctor thinks there is a chance this darling boy might have Cystic Fibrosis-this darling boy who I just met Friday night, this darling boy who loves peanut/jelly sandwiches while watching the Disney channel and wraps his arms around my neck so tight while he plants a kiss on my cheek and calls me Mommy-might not live to see 5 years old.

So tell me why are case mangers so lax? Foster parents so dam lazy? It makes me pissed off to high hell. Really as a foster parent I know the answers myself. Case mangers are over loaded so they don't care and most foster parents just want to pack them in for the money they recieve per. month for each child. A routine trip to the doctor is all they will do, after that they don't want to be bothered. It's a shame.

Dumb question time. The bag of meds that this kid showed up with---were they prescription or OTC? If they were scripts, who was prescribing them?
Why didn't the previous doctor perform screening?

As far as I know, neither foster parents or case managers are educated and/or trained in diagnosing cystic fibrosis.

Just wondering.

[Julianna]

Dumb question time. The bag of meds that this kid showed up with---were they prescription or OTC? If they were scripts, who was prescribing them?
Why didn't the previous doctor perform screening?

As far as I know, neither foster parents or case managers are educated and/or trained in diagnosing cystic fibrosis.

Just wondering.


No question is ever dumb-this how we learn, right? :)
The bag of meds. were both scrip & OTC. The doctors writting the scrips were all different depending on what foster home in which county the child was placed. I have no answer to why no screening was ever done before. No foster parent or case manger is making a diagnosis, the current doctor gave a scrip for him to be tested, so she must have a feeling.

[nehemiah]

As far as I know, neither foster parents or case managers are educated and/or trained in diagnosing cystic fibrosis.that's not entirely true. some families are licensed as "therapeutic foster homes" and there exist "medical foster care agencies".

[nehemiah]

foster care generally sucks.

keep the kids in the home.

[Gibby]

foster care generally sucks.

keep the kids in the home.

A friggin Men.

[gilchristfan]

No question is ever dumb-this how we learn, right? :)
The bag of meds. were both scrip & OTC. The doctors writting the scrips were all different depending on what foster home in which county the child was placed. I have no answer to why no screening was ever done before. No foster parent or case manger is making a diagnosis, the current doctor gave a scrip for him to be tested, so she must have a feeling.

Well, that's my point. Isn't this more of a medical provider problem rather than a foster care problem? Apparently, the kid is getting medical treatment and has been for a while. I don't know why the case worker or the foster parents would be to blame for failure to discover CF?

[gilchristfan]

that's not entirely true. some families are licensed as "therapeutic foster homes" and there exist "medical foster care agencies".

Not out here, unless they're holistic healers or the foster parent is a doctor.

[Julianna]

foster care generally sucks.

keep the kids in the home.


I'm sorry baby but i beg to differ on this one. Keep the kids in the home? Foster Care sucks? Foster care sucks because some of the foster family's are only out to fill their home for the check per. child plus what child wants to seperated from their family. But keep the kid's in the home? Let me give you 3 examples of children that I have fostered in the past year and let me know if they should have been left in the home:

Simon was 2 yrs. old when he was removed from his parents care. Simon was found living in the car with his parents. He had head lice, insect bites and breathing problems. His mom was giving him HER adult inhaler. During the day either mom or dad begged for money on the streets then bought drugs. Simon was with me 2 days before I rushed him to the hospital, he was on IV's for another 2 days.

Jessica was 11 months when she was removed from her parents. While her mother argued with her father and held her, the father stabbed mom 8 times in the chest along with cutting Jessica on her cheek. They argued over a speed ball.

Ryan was 2 yrs. when he was removed from mom, dad is currently in jail on various drug charges. Ryan was found along with 6 other children at 3 a.m. wondering the home and streets. Neighbors called the police when the loud music continued playing. Upon arrival the police found the parents high and passed out throughout the home while their children ran free eating items off the tables and floors, soiling themselves etc. Ryan's 10 month brother was found in a closet because the other children said he would not stop crying.

Foster Home: Love, kisses and smiles. New clothes, toys, food and a sense of being. A large loveable lab, an old but fiesty cat and a love bird that is always talking if you will listen. People that want to help you and make sure you get the best while you are with them.................that's my home :)

[Julianna]

Well, that's my point. Isn't this more of a medical provider problem rather than a foster care problem? Apparently, the kid is getting medical treatment and has been for a while. I don't know why the case worker or the foster parents would be to blame for failure to discover CF?



I take being a foster parent to heart. If a cough lasts this long something is wrong. I search for the answer, I make it my own, the little ones can't, they are depending on you-they need you.